In her own write

woah

2010-12-09T20:24:00.000-08:00

you can undelete blogs?

....post internet intervention wrap up to proceed

Last post tax return indulgent spend of the year

2010-05-22T21:25:00.000-07:00

OR

I'm torn...

I've always wanted a camcorder.I blame it on cheesy 80s family vacation tapes that I recently found but I've been obsessing and feel the need to buy a decent little camcorder like this adorable Sony Webbie.And at the same time I'm dying to relive my Polaroid excursions but the new impossible project thing skeeves me out with it's ridiculous prices for film and cameras.The Fuji Instax seems like perfect substitute and while it's pricey you can find super awesome deals on ebay.

I can't decide which to get.

What tickles your pickle more?
Which totally unnecessary but totally worth while treat would you get?

Lonnnng overdue apologetic hiatus update spam blahhhhh

2010-05-21T20:53:00.000-07:00

I was planning on this post being a long winded fan girl response to what still is the best concert I've ever been too.But I've decided not to.Partly because maybe two of you would actually get/enjoy it and mostly because the words escape me...there is also the fact that I'm painfully lazy.The trip to Miami was fun,Paul was...well Amy put it best and I'll leave it at that!

The Deauville Hotel on Miami Beach.It was cute,you could tell it's prime was in the 60's,and the front desk had a framed picture of the fab four.So naturally i was already giddy upon check in.When i saw that those pictures extended to the halls and our freakin room i flipped my shit and busted out the camera at every corner!I took so many pictures that it almost seemed like a chore to upload and organize them.But finally here are some pictures my friend took and here are most of the Macca and Mia pictures I took.Enjoy!

Oh my Macca

2010-04-24T09:53:00.000-07:00

Soooo many pictures to go through...*sigh*

In the meantime please feel free to laugh at this

I can't

2010-04-20T10:50:00.000-07:00

Ok i feel like i need to get this off my chest.I didn't want my first blog post after Macca to be about anything except for Macca but this need to be said(That post is coming btw..SOON).But today being 420 has me rolling my eyes and scoffing and feeling the need to passive aggressively tweet like a mad woman!I mean REALLY?

I understand weed,i don't love it,don't hate it but i fucking hate the culture associated with it.As Cher from Clueless put it:

"It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day."

I mean i laugh at all the stupid pot head movies,I find adult swim after midnight vaguely funny and I mean come on...some of the best Beatles music was made while they were tooooaasssted.But as soon as people start mass posting "Happy 420 best holiday ever" this is me

Best holiday ever really?I guess the fact that it's Hitlers bday and also the day that high school changed forever and we had to wear clear book bags from then on doesn't mean anything when there's weed to smoke.Yeah i went there!All I'm saying is April 20th is any other day,quit acting like your not going to get just as high tomorrow and the day after that,and the day after that.

OH....MY.....GOD

2010-03-18T22:18:00.000-07:00

As if i couldn't be anymore excited to be seeing Paul McCartney play in Miami in less than a month...get this Beatles Geeks.I will be staying in the exact same resort in which thee Macca,John,George and Ringo stayed in exactly 46 years ago!!!

I AM DYING
Literally this is me you guys:

I will be eating up every second of walking through The Deauville Resort and yes i will bugging the shit out of the probably clueless staff asking them about things that happened nearly 50 years ago and taking pictures of EVERYTHING.

So needless to say the day couldn't come sooner.Pictures and fan girling will thereafter ensue and for the mean time shall we swoon?....we shall indeed.

formspring.me

2010-03-15T21:56:00.001-07:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/dettabobetta

I'm a rambler

2010-02-28T22:38:00.001-08:00

I haven't felt like blogging in a loooonng time.I feel that with how little i update this thing i should just get a tumblr instead.It feels like less of a hassle no?Well anywhoo for those who care,life lately has been like Bill Murray's in Groundhog Day.Speaking of Bill,how funny was Zombie Land?I mean this comment is super belated but really,funniest movie ever!Moving on...actually while we're on the topic of movies please do yourself a favor and see this:

Bill Murray rules even as a badger.It comes out this month,I highly recommend you check it.Also,I finally watched 500 days of Summer and i have to say i wasn't really impressed.I mean i wasn't expecting much because this movie from the get go was an obvious attempt to incorporate the indie thang into the mainriver but it was just way TOO MUCH.Like oh hey i like The Smiths too,lets hold hands at Ikea.Nice try.

Whatevz.

Well lets keep this random thought dump i got going here...er,going.I've been on the hunt for items on my summer checklist.This list includes but is not limited to the perfect striped t shirt,liquid eyeliner and the perfect wedge.You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find like THE PERFECT striped tee.This is my never ending quest guys.It all started back when they used to give It's on with Alexa Chung(side note:I really cannot stand her.not a hater but her teeth and voice make me cringe and i find her quite silly and obnoxious).I never really had an interest in the show itself but GOOD GOD the woman can dress!And she seems to have a collection of the greatest striped tees ever created.Observe

See?Consider me green with envy...If only i had the power to materialize things with my mind...

Hmmmm what?.Ahem,this has gone on way too long.and Michael Pitt makes me think of Jamie Bochert which i must save for another post entirely.When they get married i might become a legitimate stalker...just saying.

NOT COOL AMERICA!

2010-02-02T21:27:00.001-08:00

So this shit happens ALL the time but for some reason when i saw this it infuriated me!

2007 UK

2010 USA

I mean really?I'm sure this new one will most likely be funnier,sexier and have more explosions but there is just something to be said about deadpan British humor.And while I'm pretty excited I haven't seen any comic to movie summer blockbuster trailers yet it's just so annoying to me that having an original screenplay nowadays is such a rarity.Next thing you know they'll remake this beaut and cast Justin Bieber and that little freaky kid from Jerry McGuire as the main characters.

What a joke

2010-01-31T23:34:00.000-08:00

The Grammys blew incredibly hard this year.Here's my 2 cents...

The Good:

The Bad:

The Ugly:

Was that Kesha bitch drunk or is she just THAT fucking brain dead?Why would they have a kid hardly literate and hardly hitting puberty present an award?WHY and how in Gods name did this out of nowhere cow pie eating piece of shit country band steal an award away from MGMT?Really....REALLY?And last but definitely not least where the hell was Kanye when Tay Tay Swift won ALBUM OF THE YEAR?!?!Are you fucking kidding me America?

Best Beatle Covers

2009-12-16T22:47:00.000-08:00

on youtube as deemed by moi!Watching covers on the intarweb has become quite a past time for me.Some are ridiculous in the best way possible,some make my ears bleed and some like these...well they just make my day.

oh and hai hello I'm alive btw.School has been a bitch but alas i am liberated,so let the fun commence!

9. So cute,like really if your watching this..you.call me.lets get married,k?

8. Love them!And this video is super fun to jam to.

7.Seriously i watch Meetles videos at least once a week,and every time i do smile so hard and sometimes ngl i even get a little misty eyed.There is no love like a Beatles fan love..

6.The first time i saw this video i think a fly flew in my mouth.This kid is SUPER talented!

5.His voice is like hot chocolate and whiskey,and i think i love him.hahaha!

4.There are parts in this video where i think he sounds so much like Paul it's ridiculous...and his kids are totally adorable.

3.If you have not yet,please meet Stevie Riks.He is hilarious and I've never seen anybody do a better impression of John.

2.The orignal gangsta of Beatles Vids on the tube!

1.Ok this kid is going to be brilliant someday!Look at that rock and roll face...pure genius.

The list can go on and on forever,and these are in no particular order they are just some of my favorites.All of these people have talent and the fact that there are soooo many videos like this all over the place makes me really happy.

Crush of the moment

2009-11-19T15:39:00.000-08:00

So holy crap,why did it take pointy ears,perfectly bowled hair,and crazy eyebrows for me to notice this dude?If you are like me and never watched Heroes or know who the eff Sylar is then you too are meeting Zachery Quinto for the first time.I maybe watched Star Trek 3 times in my life before the movie came out and i don't remember Spock ever being hot.Well he is damnit!and i know everybody was all googly eyed over the new Cap Kirk but while i can see his appeal it was the weirdo monotonous Vulcan that had me wishing i was Uhura.Soooooo freakin cute.further proof:

Yeah totally the guy from the notebook

2009-11-11T21:41:00.000-08:00

Actors making music generally leads to epic fails(See Scarlett Johansen and Lindsey Lohan) but amongst every my girl wants to party all the time there are the few who are actually multi talented(see Zooey Deschanel and David Bowie).Never would i imagine Ryan Gosling to be part of the latter category.I mean,sure the notebook was cute.Murder by numbers didnt have to be good because lets face it Ryan and Michael Pitt were such a cute ambiguous couple that it didn't matter.And of course there was the heart breaker Lars and the Real Girl which actually changed my mind about him.But even then he was still just the eye candy from the notebook to me until i saw this:

DEAD MAN'S BONES - "NAME IN STONE" from biz3 publicity on Vimeo.

I've been watching a lot of Rachel Zoe parodies lately,but i watch those videos and for real...I die.I feel a ramble coming on but let me tell you why you should run out and buy Dead Man's Bones sort of new album or you know get it in other ways that people with computers do.It's amazing duh!It's hauntingly beautiful,hahaha get it?No really.I've heard a lot of people saying things like The Haunted Mansion music or Doo wop.But to me it sounds like a seance in a Louisiana church or having a party in Vincent Price's Crib and it's been on repeat in my stereo since i found out about it a couple days ago.So if you like creepy but pretty music that may or may not conjure the spirits you should definitly check them out!

Why I hate my job

2009-11-08T21:40:00.001-08:00

Wow it's been a while.I always wish I have more to say when it's been this long between posts...what can i say my life has been on a steady plane of suck recently.I can attribute that to my obvious lack of an immune system where getting swine flu hasn't been the worst thing that has happened(fingers crossed for a healthy 2010),shitty money flow leading up to my cell service being cancelled for a month now (which i obviously don't mind)and worst of all the absolute bane of my existence...my shitty hostess job.

Everyones had that one job that they look back on and a chill of disgust runs through them.In my case I'm currently living that nightmare and wake up every work day dreading the hours until i have to go.Working in a restaurant blows,and being a hostess is like the tip of the fucking iceberg.I could literally write a book on my misfortune in "landing" this job(aka they laid us off from our nice cushy restaurant sales office job and gave us a more hands on approach to restaurant sales) but i would never want to...ever.But just so this post doesn't seem like useless venting,which it is,here is why i hate my job so much...

Like a Boss!
It's almost a given that when you work in the hospitality industry there is going to be A LOT of micromanaging.I mean how else could a place run if the GM had to do everything?So they hire about a 5 fresh out of college 20 somethings with no clue how the world outside their little department really is.These college kids do their best to run the show,dressing up in their JC Penny careers attire,kissing enough ass a year to maybe power a small country and of course treating their employees like the ultimate scum of the earth.Passive aggressiveness is a second language to these fools and reading in between the lines is just a part of the job description.As a hostess you are without a doubt responsible for every mistake made including but not limited to food errors,and therefore you deserve to be condescended to in front of as many people as possible by a manager maybe a few months older than you.

Servers are some of the best/worst people you will ever meet
I like most of the people i work with,managers aside,they are great people for the most part.But i wouldn't trust them as far as i could throw them if you get what I'm sayin.Servers could be nice as shit...until you seat them a "bad" table.Now bad could mean ANYTHING.As a general rule servers should never be sat:

Asians,Brits,Frenchies,Black people,Business men who wear khaki,Spanish people who don't speak english,Gingers,any family with a 2 kids to 1 adult ratio,Women who don't have power suits on,people in wheelchairs,Teenagers,their own family members,or any type of European that isn't decked out in Armani Exchange.

I ordered this medium rare.
Oh I'm sorry sir,my blatant difference in uniform from your actual server must have caught your attention,therefore giving you the right to grab me as I pass your table.Oh,you ordered a medium rare steak?I apologize,I didn't take your order correctly because I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING SERVER!

Can we have something more private?
Yes,yes you can.It's the table waaaaay over there...outside the restaurant at the local Dennys.Because:
1.You didn't make fucking reservations,and beggars can't be choosers
2.You see those people in the quaint little corner there?They did and they also had the decency to request it before they sat down.

God forbid you have a gimmick
So at my particular restaurant we have these footballs...they are a part of the menu.
*breaths*
No,you cannot keep the football,what you think we just have a million of these things stowed away in our tiny fucking podium to give to you assholes?
No,I will not "go long" it's a restaurant dude not a stage for your ignorant broisms!
Yes,I get asked a million times a day of you can keep the football and that question is not any better.
And for fucks sake!Those wine glasses are NOT cheap,get your god damn kid to stop knocking over the damn football or we're adding them to your bill!

Other shit people do that makes me tell the servers to cough in their food
*If you see a white table cloth on your table and more than 2 forks,take your fucking hat off.I don't want to have to ask you,you should have the common sense to know this isn't a damn chilli's.
*If your kid is screaming at the top of his/her lungs and you see the cute little old couple next to you throwing you dirty looks,take the asshole kid for a walk.Just because you are immune to your own child's wailing doesn't mean the entire restaurant is.Yes they can hear you,and yes they hate you for bringing your kid.
*When a restaurant closes at let's say 10pm and you show up at 9:47pm,don't expect to be treated like a king at all.4 star or no star,you are an asshole.And your food will most definitly taste like floor.

"Pork Chop Flu"

2009-10-09T11:12:00.000-07:00

as my dad calls it.

Day 3.5:
Is pregnancy like cravings for food synonymous with swine flu?Because i swear I've been craving certain foods like crazy and last i checked i wasn't knocked up unless I'm rocking some immaculate conception shiz.All week for some inexplicable reason I've been craving a really leafy salad with feta cheese,a snickers bar,french fries with tons of ketchup,a chipotle burrito,and a baked potato...in that order.

Day 4:
OK so what I've learned from the flu so far is brushing your teeth and the flu just do not go hand in hand.My throat is fine,it's not that anymore it's just unpleasant phlegmy and this morning almost made me puke.But I'll gladly suffer for hygiene.I feel ready to go back to work, but i might milk it for one more day(to ensure proper safety for others of course).I've swallowed $45 worth of Tamiflu so far,so there's that.I watched an awesome show on Discovery Health last night about conjoined twin teenagers that was pretty fascinating.And i guess all i all I'm feeling much better... and maybe I've possibly learned a lesson from obsessively washing my hands every hour on the hour.

So thanks for reading my sickly venting and for all your get well wishes.I feel like with all the fuss everyone made a few months ago about this thing that i should at the very least get a t shirt or something.

Swine Flu Diaries

2009-10-08T09:31:00.000-07:00

yeah,me,the germaphobe borderline hypochondriac got swine flue.I've never even had the flu ever but if this is what it's like ,let it be the last fucking time.

Day 1:
Day 1 started with me thinking i was just sick.I had a killer sore throat,stuffiness everywhere and my body felt like someone took a sledge hammer to it.I went to work knowing that i felt like shit and luckily got sent home within a half hour of being there(luckily for my co workers too,less germs being thrown around).So i drove home,sort of delirious because my head felt like a balloon and crashed on my bed.Naturally i watched tons on tv and now have a new favorite show.have you seen rehab on tru tv?It's awesome.for men.nah it's the bitch to bitch drama that gets me and the general craziness that goes on in Vegas that makes that show worth watching.

Day 2:
Definitely the worst day.My throat felt like shredded meat,my head was pounding,freezing,body aches,runny nose,fever etc etc.So i went to the doctor after my mother nagged me for like an hour.I think i actually made a swine flu joke to the nurse before she took my temperature.I scored 102 degrees on that test prompting the nurse to take this flu stuff all serious.For the record the flu test fucking sucks,they jammed a q-tip so far up my nose i felt like they were giving me lobotomy and then twirled it around...don't let anybody tell you it's not slightly painful.When the doctor came in wearing a damn mask it was pretty easy to tell i had the flu.After spending close to 2 hours at the doctors and having to wear a mask out i finally was able to go home.My mom freaked out of course and came home armed and ready with Lysol,Purell,and even her own mask.My day had already been pretty shitty but then i find out i have to pay $90 for fucking Tamiflu!!!In fact,the only good thing about that day was the gallon of ice cream my dad brought home and the 12 pack of ginger ale I've already made a huge dent in.

Day 3:
Today i feel better,but apparently I'm still contagious.I woke up sweating like crazy as opposed to the other two nights when i went to bed with goosebumps from being so cold.I'm sick to fucking death of laying in bed and I've watched entirely too much Suite Life of Zach and Cody.My throat is a little better although in the morning it was still a little raw and when i was brushing my teeth it felt like putting lemon juice on a paper cut.My body aches are almost gone and my fever is only slightly there.I hate my job but i kind of want to get back to work already.and holy crap i can't even begin to tell you how I AM SICK OF SOUP!!!It's not even funny.I want real food..even the ice cream is getting a little tired.I can't wait to eat a real meal...once i get better the first thing i'm going to eat will definitly be a BLT.

Books I want to read but don't think im intellectual enough to understand

2009-09-21T22:10:00.000-07:00

Well the title pretty much speaks for itself.I used to work in a book store and for the avid reader,trust me,you get a lot of book boners in there.I carried around a little notepad with me all the time.When i was supposed to be organizing the shelves I'd really just be scanning through books reading the back covers,drooling over blurbs,and taking little notes as to what I'd read next.I'm proud to say i got through a lot of my little lists, but there were some Moby Dicks in there that still to this day I feel a little intimidated to conquer.

Gravity's Rainbow
Now,this particular book I don't actually want to read at all, but it has been name dropped by so many people i find incredibly amazing...so I figure it's gotta be good right?I mean even if it's not how pseudo intellectual would i look sitting at a Starbucks sipping on some chai and proudly displaying this baby for everyone to look at and awe at my incredible taste in post modern literature?

The Savage Detectives
Ok so this is a book i definitely want to read.I have to admit i found out about this one while swooning over a Coconut Records video which makes me both lame and awesome.The plot line sounds like something i can get really into but the intimidating part?This book has been called by some the Mexican Dharma Bums.Really?I find it incredibly difficult to get through any Kerouac book without wanting to fall asleep or make a fire out of sticks and shit in my backyard with the intention of burning the book i just wasted 2 weeks of my life trying to like.And there's also the fact that a good meaty part of the book is pure history.boooorrrriing!

Franny and Zooey
See the thing about Salinger is i really don't think it can get better than Catcher.I may be alone in this sentiment but i feel like reading this would be like watching another Kate Hudson movie just to see if maybe she'll ever be as good as she was in Almost Famous again.

Ulysses
Direct quote from Amazon "Ulysses has been labeled dirty, blasphemous, and unreadable."Sign me up!I look at this as my Mount Everest of books.I can barely comprehend what this shit is even supposed to be about but that alone makes me want to at the very least give it a try.

So i guess what I'm tyring to say is I'm really a masochist when it comes to reading.

When life gives you lemons

2009-09-20T23:56:00.000-07:00

I've been having a rough week.It's hard to stay positive when so many things in your life feel,for lack of a better word..shitty.But I'm not one to dwell on sucky things when i know eventually things do get better.Actually,I can think of 5 things going on right now that instantly make me feel better.They are...

*Beatles remasters in stereo..fucking amazing
*The pack of gummy worms I'm staring into
*Knowing that tomorrow is the start of a new week,YAY!
*Halloween costume ideas
*Diva songs

Speaking of Diva songs,there is literally nothing in the world that makes me feel better than pumping my fist in the air when that dramatic drum beat hits and Whitney belts out "And iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyiiiiiii will always love youuuuuuuuuuoooouuuuuuuuuu!"

I already feel 10x better.What was this post about again?

My passive aggressive note to those who must not be named

2009-09-16T23:14:00.000-07:00

*long sigh*

Dear insufferable twats i have to deal with regularly,

no one cares.no one cares.no one cares.no one cares.no one cares.no one cares.no one cares.no one cares.no one cares.no one cares.no one cares.when i see your facebook status updates i want develop the power to teleport just to find you and slap you with a white glove ala bugs bunny.we live in Orlando,it's not a real city if you haven't noticed.many of your habits i find quite intolerable.just because you do something once it does not mean you are an expert.it's awesome that you love God,really,but i don't want to hear it every other fucking sentence.a trained primate can do what you do.you are not a poet.you are not an artist.i don't give a shit if you got a new sofa.you are really not that creative.you have no idea how pretentious you come across.you and your wife or whatever need to stop putting your shit out there...seriously.your music kind of blows.if you don't want to work call off!i don't want to hear you bitch about how you'd rather be home.the only reason you know that is because of me.if you don't call me in 6 months,don't ask me where I've been.it's your fault we don't hang out.i am not a meeting planner,figure shit out then call me.it's a fucking football menu,no you can't keep it,no you can't throw it and i hope someone spits in your food.if i didn't know any better I'd think you were a stalker.she doesn't care either.you sound like a thesaurus.google it goddammit!

fin

P.S.If you think this is about you it probably isn't,but then again if you think it isn't,then it probably is.

P.S.S or maybe it isn't

Team I don't give a shit

2009-09-15T10:16:00.000-07:00

OK everybody and their mom is talking about Kanye at the VMA's.But all i have to say is worse things have happened in the music industry!Chris Brown beat the shit out of Rihanna,Tupac got shot,Lil Mama convinced herself she was somebody,and Miley Cyrus was allowed to make a movie.If you hate Kanye now BFD,talking about it is only making him more money and giving him MORE notoriety.I'm sure Taylor Swift is going write about it in her diary and next thing you know BAM new hit album for her,so high five.Now let's all stfu until the next wave of Hudgens/Cyrus scandalous pictures hit the internet.

I feel fine

2009-09-10T22:29:00.000-07:00

Well if you haven't guessed that I'm a huge Beatles geek by now well then i don't even know what to say...

Anyway,being the huge geek i am i naturally went out on 09.09.09 to get the new BEATLES'S ROCK BAND!!!!Yes it deserves that many exclamation points dammit!

!!!!!!!

Let me tell you it's AMAZING...like so amazing i could care less about how fangirl i sound right now.I mean i literally knew it would be a huge boner for us Beatles fans so i of course had to go to Walmart at an hour where only serial killers and rapists are out and about just to get my greedy little hands on it.

I think i may have been over estimating the amount of turn out a Walmart in the middle of little Puerto Rico,Kissimmee would have for this game by like a 1,000%.Me and my sister were there at 11:30PM expecting to get into a huge brawl with aged baby boomers but alas no,we were the only two there.Well closer to midnight there was this cute old lady buying one for her grandson,awwwwwww!She even asked me which one she should get and i did my civic duty for that kid and convinced her to get the most expensive hella awesome premium edition bundle.Good karma better come my way for that one,shit.

But I digress,the game...is awesome.Not only because it follows the Beatles story from the Cavern Club to their Abbey Road days(which i haven't gotten to yet, but hopefully it will be happier in the game than in actuality)but also because the graphics make me feel like I'm on acid.There's also all these little prizes,rare pictures and behind the scenes stuff you win if you rule that shit like i do.

So all in all,I'm foaming at the mouth happy to have bought this little gem I've been anticipating for months.And if you're a nerd with 60-150 bucks to spare,go buy it!

Style Icon

2009-08-21T22:44:00.000-07:00

Baby in Dirty Dancing

Here in Fl summers get freakin HOT!To cope I've been drinking lemonade,water,and iced tea by the gallons and cutting all of my jeans in to shorts.Tonight while I was channel surfing I came across one of my favorite movies of all time,Dirty Dancing!This movie makes me super happy.I literally spent the majority of my twelfth year of life obsessed with Francis "Baby" Houseman and I would constantly play the shit out of the soundtrack and pretend I was her.In fact, I'm almost sure that me and my cousins have some old home videos of us trying to attempt the famous lift and it's probably miraculous that none of us ever broke any extremities.

But anyway, *fades out of nostalgia trip* my entire point is that with summer nearing an end(well not really here,Florida's summer is endless)I feel the need to savour every little bit of it I can.

Dirty Dancing screams summer to me and Baby's a total style icon.It's all crop tops,capris,tanks,super short shorts and old school Keds.And not to mention that kind of stunning dress she wears when...ahem "nobody puts Baby in the corner".Couldn't help it.So while the heat lasts,I'll take a little inspiration from the girl who can rock water soaked clothes like no one else can.

When fall comes around I'll be sporting a Johnny-esque leather jacket but until then Happy Summer everyone!

Snobbery of Epic Proportions

2009-08-13T22:20:00.000-07:00

I read the New York Times whenever i get the chance.I've been neglecting reading much of anything lately but but somehow i stumbled upon this.

First i must say that The NYT isn't generally a paper i take seriously by any means.Most of the time i find myself shaking my head and laughing out loud.I mean how can one paper manage to hate everything?And oh my God don't even ask me how many times ive seen the word "noir" in every section from Sunday Styles to Sports.My reaction to this article was a first,two paragraphs in i had to put the paper down and ask myself if i was being punked.

In case you are an A.D.D reader like myself let me give you the jist.Cintra Wilson of the New York Times is a ubersnob who thinks JC Penny is for fat tacky poor people.

Here are some highlights of this amazingly crafted article:

"...designers seem to be enjoying a post-shame era. Penney’s now carries I ♥ Ronson by Charlotte Ronson"

"A good 96 percent of the Penney’s inventory is made of polyester."

"It took me a long time to find a size 2 among the racks. There are, however, abundant size 10’s, 12’s and 16’s.'

"The petites section features a bounty of items for women nearly as wide as they are tall; the men’s Big & Tall section has shirts that could house two or three Shaquilles."

And lastly "It has the most obese mannequins I have ever seen... It’s like a headless wax museum devoted entirely to the cast of “Roseanne"

Yeah really.

Honestly i don't even know what to say.I think I'll just leave it for you to ponder.Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go do several lines of cocaine in hopes of losing enough weight to squeeze into a size 2.Because that's an attractive size right?And shit if i can't find anything at my local JC Penny then there's always the boys section at Baby Gap...

It amazes me

2009-07-13T22:49:00.001-07:00

that i still have followers.thanks.haha.things are stirring and pretty soon i hope to have things worth blogging about.until then enjoy this randomly selected youtube favorite:

Amadeus Amadeus

2009-04-06T06:39:00.000-07:00

Movie Review time!

I went and saw Adventureland last night but before i tell you about that little gem i have to say that i was dying laughing at the HUGE LINE that was forming as we came in.I was so confused thinking maybe like there was only one dude working because i mean it was a Sunday and what movie comes out on a Sunday?My first thought was,Oh Hannah Montana how your dog face and grating voice brings the idiotic masses but then when i looked at the crowd again i noticed it consisted of mainly two things:Guys who shave their eyebrows and girls who sharpie their eyebrows and/or lips.

Then it hit me.Really,REALLY?Fast and the Furious.And then it was hysterical to me that even though the movie came out Friday there was still people lining up on a Sunday afternoon to go see people flying like some crouching tiger shit from one car(that may or may not be in fire) to the next as it simultaneously falls down a cliff.

Anyway back to the point...Adventureland was a real surprise.I went in there with preconceived thoughts that it would be just OK and mildly funny.Well i actually ended up loving the movie.It was very sweet and it had the most amazing soundtrack Ive heard in quite some time.Lou Reed pretty much dominated this movie but it was set in the late 80's so there was also some good "I don't wanna lose your love toniiiight" thrown in the mix.Kristen Stewart and Jesse Eisenberg have great natural chemistry that translated on screen really really well.Her and Robert Pattinson(ugh yes i saw Twilight)made me feel squirmy and her awkwardness is really off putting.Kristen Stewart seems to only embody the awkward brooding teenager but in this movie it really worked and in one scene she actually surprised me by not wringing her hands or pulling at her hair and showing some real raw emotion.

Jesse Eisenberg was puppy adorable and i connected so well with his character i felt like i knew him,or at least copied his test in class or something.I can see people who aren't familiar with him(The Squid and the Whale and The Village)to find his timidness and geekiness to be similar to Micheal Cera.But he definitely has a charm that Michael can't touch.Also i can't even begin to explain how subtly hilarious Kristen Wiig was and Bill Hader was as always totally hysterical.

All in all in was a great movie and a nice surprise and I would recommend you catch it if you get the chance.

Minnie Ha Ha

2009-04-02T19:04:00.000-07:00

It has become quite obvious to me that i do not belong in this generation.In fact, if you know me at all you'll know that it's completely plausible that in my past life i was ANYONE in this video.It all makes so much sense now...

If Steve Priest wasn't still alive I'd say I was him.Hellllo Giant Chief headdress!!!!!

HI!atus

2009-03-31T13:31:00.000-07:00

Well I'm definitely back.but not mentally so...I apologize for my detachment from all things blogger but lately I've been feeling a bit indifferent towards anything having to do with the Internet.

Basically the way i feel about my laptop and computers in general right now is as follows:

But never fear!Soon enough i'm sure something will be sure to piss me off,make me laugh,make me cry,make me wish I was born in 1955,etc. etc. and you guys will have me back in no time.

BTW while i was typing this my computer froze for about 20 minutes.FML.

Im back!

2009-03-17T09:51:00.000-07:00

And so exhausted.I had an AMAZING vacation and it feels a little strange getting back into the swing of things but i am glad to be home.Thank you all for wishing me a great trip!Blogs and pictures will come soon!

Thank you Obama

2009-02-24T11:10:00.000-08:00

Where i work I'm blessed enough to receive free lunch daily.The food is nothing short of disgusting but with the economy in the crapper the way it is i am extremely grateful and keep the gripes to a minimum.

Today's Lunch was absolutely hilarious.

Hey did everyone know it's Black History Month???I sure did,but just in case me or any of my co workers forgot we were reminded by the festive spread that awaited us in the cafeteria.

It was hard not to immediately and probably inappropriately burst into laughter upon entering and seeing giant stick on faces plastered along the walls of Martin Luther King,Maya Angelou and another equally influential figure in history Tyra Banks.On any other day I'd be eating my lunch in a brightly lit fluorescent room and sitting at a dirty table,but on this special day we were treated to the ambiance of blue and purple lighting and tables scattered with confetti saxophones and music notes.Oh,that Jazz age sound!*Scats like Ella Fitzgerald*

Moving on,I walk up to the line and wouldn't you know it they had fried chicken....do i even have to say they also had collard greens,salted pork,mac and cheese and pecan pie?

They did.It was brilliant.I have to say it was one of the best lunches I've had in my 3+ years of working there if not for the sheer hilarity of it all then for the food.Shit was good!I desperately wish i had a camera phone to document it.

Have a Happy Black History Month Ya'll!(or at least what's left of it)

Mi Blogspacio

2009-02-24T08:51:00.000-08:00

I wouldn't really say i have a blog space per se.But drollgirl's interesting post tickled my voyeuristic fancy so i figured why not do the same since I've been negligent in my observations of the world and haven't posted anything in the past few days.

Holy run on sentence Batman!

My blog space is simply my bed.And here in all it's fuzzy ambient glory is how I spend my mornings,weekends and whatever free time i can get:

Yup that's pretty much it.Nothing too exciting there.and plus you guys have pretty much seen all that other crap.

Also my lovely friends and readers,I'm going on vacation for two weeks to hot hot hot Panama City,Panama.So ill be M.i.a. for a while.But when i come back i'll surely have plenty of pictures and hopefully some ridiculous stories to share!

Oh Coraline

2009-02-21T20:38:00.000-08:00

What could i possibly say about this movie that hasn't already been said?It's brilliant!This weekend is the last it will be available to watch in 3D.And if you have not seen it yet i strongly suggest you do.It was unlike any other movie experience I've had.Mostly because it was just so charming creepy stunning absorbing beautiful etc etc but partly because I SAW IT ALONE!!!!AHH!

Going to the theater by myself had been one of my fears for a long time.The last time i did i was a wee adolescent going to see one of the biggest movies of the time.. Titanic.Psh,Everybody and their grandma was in that theater!!There i sat alone trying not to cry at the sad parts because i felt like everybody in the entire theater was watching me.I had some popcorn that i didn't eat because of course i felt like they could all hear me chewing.It was horrible to say the least.

But this time around was different.None of my friends wanted to see it(LOSERS!hahaha)and i wasn't about to pass the opp to see it in 3D.Soooo I drove there alone,bought my ticket alone, went to the concession stand alone,sat in the theater and thoroughly enjoyed a really great movie ALONE.

Nobody was staring at me when i laughed at the cute parts and i ate an entire bag of Twizzlers by myself without giving a shit if anybody was.

Annnnd it was amazing.

Anyhow this was meant to be a review of sorts and ended up being more Real World confessional.But i guess the point is go see the movie!

Even if you have to go by your self;)

Nighttiming baby

2009-02-20T22:45:00.000-08:00

I always have a slight case of insomnia on the weekend.While everyone else is sleeping I'm usually locked up in my room and my mind wanders.I usually read or write or watch crappy t.v.

Tonight though I'm laughing my ass off because i realize at 23 my room looks almost exactly like it did when i was in middle school.

Except instead of giant glossy posters of J.T.T(oh you know know what I'm talking about)scattered on my walls i now have a glossy life cast of David Bowie's face.

Talk about maturity!

The Weirdest shit I've seen on Youtube

2009-02-17T21:28:00.001-08:00

Like many people I know,I spend many an hour on Youtube.I can literally spend an entire day watching diy projects I'll never finish,videos from the 90's,and episodes of cancelled shows(Helllo Daria!).Spending so much time on there it's inevitable that i run into weird ass videos.

Here are my personal WTF favorites:

Lets get this party started the right way.

Now i don't now if this is real or not but nothing says summer to me like a Euro mullet,deep tans and trampolines.

I'm a magician Spencer.No I'm not but this guy is.

I find this hilarious and insanely quotable.

Flowy and Ethnic pretty much describes me

I randomly stumbled upon this.I now watch it at least once a week.

Try it!

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha*laughs without smiling*

And lastly and probably most importantly:
Am i doing the hand thing?what is that?

I honestly don't even know what to say about this.

Hipsters Don't Read

2009-02-13T13:38:00.000-08:00

I hate going into Urban Outfitters stores because as soon as i walk in i immediately feel like I'm not cool enough to shop there.I don't have a hipster flag to wave and prefer to not spend a gajillion dollars on clothes that will make me look like Pat Benatar in the 80's.I often go in,pretend to look at something for 5 minutes and when the coast is clear head straight to the sale section.

Normally the sale rack is a huge mess and anything worth buying has already been snagged up(probably by someone cooler than me).So rather than torturing myself and feeling sort of out of place I've resorted to shopping on their website.

While i was updating my wish list today and getting a few things on sale(YES!) i noticed something sort of funny. Sometimes I buy things based on reviews only and i was trying to find an awesome new book to read.I selected the most reviewed option and found out that maybe 10 of the 60+ books only had a single review.The other thing...almost every book is a picture/coffee table book.

I remember a while back they used to have these framed posters of book covers you could buy.Which leads me to believe that hipsters don't actually read...but they'd like you to think they do buy hanging this in their studio apt in Brooklyn

Does not compute

2009-02-12T12:03:00.000-08:00

I haven't felt the urge to blog about much of anything in a while.But lately I've been hearing A LOT of people say they don't like The Beatles...

Excuse me?

If it's not obvious I am a HUGE Beatles fan and saying you don't like them to me is like denying Christ in front of a devout Christian.

I searched my mind for any reason a person could find not to love or at the very least like The Beatles and i could not find one,but i am biased naturally.All i could think of were things to love about them.and so it goes...

5 Reasons to LOVE The Beatles is coming your way.

Ok i admit it

2009-02-07T21:04:00.000-08:00

He's just not that into you was actually good.

And i honestly think every woman should watch it.Most women don't need the reality check of:hey,hey listen.Are you listening?Ok great.If he calls you at 11:00pm to "hang out" you are his booty call!!!

But some women do.And the cure to that ridiculous naivety has come along at last.I hate romantic comedies and i hate "chick flicks" but i was very pleased to find that the movie was neither.In fact, its only flaw was casting Scarlet Johansson to once again play the role she is best at,the blonde hussy.

It was cute,it had the cliche funny gay men that no self respecting movie made after 1999 could do without,and above all else it was sort of refreshing.

and yes they lived up to their word.

Kristen Stewart

2009-02-06T18:14:00.001-08:00

NEVER CLOSES HER MOUTH!!!

and she's got a mean case of bitchface

Crappy days beautiful distractions

2009-02-02T13:29:00.001-08:00

Thank God for Google LIFE

Dylan is the new black

2009-02-01T16:03:00.000-08:00

Lately I've noticed a wave of Dylanmania.Which is awesome but has the potential to ruin what i consider to be one of the greatest artist of all time...aside from The Beatles.

and this new cover which i find OK but a little bit silly and overdone.

I think it's great that Bob Dylan is still relevant and is still influencing generations after all this time.But once i start seeing Dylan shirts at Target and Walmart,I'll know it's time to move on to Neil Young.

Oh its such a perfect day

2009-01-31T17:26:00.000-08:00

For me to admit it's a nice day in FL takes a lot.I hate the weather here.But yesterday was one of the nicest days we've had all week so i spent most of it outside in my backyard,reading,playing with my dog and taking pictures.

and yes...that is our Christmas tree

Sister Sister

2009-01-29T10:10:00.000-08:00

6pm:go to Target
7pm:call parents to bring me spare key because (once again) i locked myself out of my car
8pm:watch tv
9pm:watch Scrubs on DVD
9:15pm:drive to Vanity Fair Outlet to bring my sister spare key because not only is she mini me in the physical sense,she too is prone to momentary mind lapses and also locked herself out of her car

...on the same night

Tar-jay

2009-01-23T23:15:00.000-08:00

After a long break of post Christmas consumerism hiatus I finally went to Target to check out the newest Design for Target/GO International collections.I wish i could say more about any thing i saw because i quite love all collab's they do.I died at the Luella stuff,went ape shit at the Pollock-ness of the Saunders line and was mildly inspired to buy a couple things from the Jovovich-Hawk line.

Despite my love for all things Target,i have to say i wasn't too impressed.The Thakoon line at my local target is still going strong with most of the clothes looking like they haven't been touched in days. Understandably so.I was a little turned off by the weird prints and super ug colorblock shift dresses in assorted ug colors.So naturally i moved on to the accessories section where i was actually pretty pumped to check out the Hayden-Hartnett stuff.My reaction was very meh-like after seeing the one bag i was lusting over was WAY better looking on the site.The material also felt super cheap.I'm a thrifty shopper by nature so i KNOW that with 50 bucks i could probably score a better bag...and maybe a pack of gum and a Dr.Pepper.

Either way whatever blahness they may have now will be totally redeemed once March comes around and Alexander McQueen's new line for Target will have me knocking chongas down left and right to get my hands on some of that epicness!

The Greatest

2009-01-23T21:26:00.000-08:00

Why i hate Kanye West:

Why i love Kanye West:

Love it

AI

2009-01-23T16:05:00.000-08:00

No not the charming Steven Spielberg flick but the show which has cursed a nation,American Idol.Everybody may be swooning over the blind guy(I'm not going to lie i am too)or the next Danny Noriega which apparently has a rabid following but my favorite contestant ever is and will always be Jacqueline Roman...or better known as The Scat Girl.

If only

2009-01-23T07:25:00.000-08:00

You know your scene is dead when ...

2009-01-22T19:14:00.001-08:00

The Style Network show Split Ends uses the term "Myspace hair"

and Hannah Montana dresses like you

Incogneato

2009-01-20T07:45:00.000-08:00

It seems so long ago that I constantly had my phone at the ready killing my thumbs and brain cells by texting all day or downloading another ridiculous ring tone that would most likely only serve its purpose as my alarm clock wake up call.I'd like to lie and say it was by choice that I am no longer so electronically attainable but alas no,twas not.Mama had bills to pay and the more that came the less my phone became a priority.

How would I live,right?uh,no

To this day I couldn't be happier being phoneless.It is probably the best thing ever and I

strongly encourage everyone to do it.I feel like Tina post Ike.Addiction to cell phones is so unattractive anyway.In fact yesterday while I was trying to enjoy a lax stroll through our friendly neighborhood flea market I noticed a couple things:

1.People like to dress up their phones in a variation of silly plastic/pleather/camo outfits

2.When babies get all cranky,mothers hand over their cell phones to pacify them.What ever happened to good old fashioned non radioactive binkys??

3.Teenagers(my sister specifically)are becoming a hazard to society because of their addiction to texting.They no longer watch where they are going.I was bumped into several times by little shits on their mobiles.They walk around aimlessly like zombies,eyes glued to tiny lcd screens and trying to get a comprehensible response from of them is nearly impossible.

Oh and don't even get me started on THAT GIRL

Basically it all comes down to this:

Phonlessness= Frugality =Freedom.

Being unreachable does present its problems but I know that the people who I want to keep in contact with and want to keep in contact with me have their ways.And that's what I call a true friend(chuckle).But for all those other "hey can I get a ride"s and fucking no soul student loan Co's all I can say is...better learn how to send smoke signals.