Why I hate my job

Wow it's been a while.I always wish I have more to say when it's been this long between posts...what can i say my life has been on a steady plane of suck recently.I can attribute that to my obvious lack of an immune system where getting swine flu hasn't been the worst thing that has happened(fingers crossed for a healthy 2010),shitty money flow leading up to my cell service being cancelled for a month now (which i obviously don't mind)and worst of all the absolute bane of my existence...my shitty hostess job.

Everyones had that one job that they look back on and a chill of disgust runs through them.In my case I'm currently living that nightmare and wake up every work day dreading the hours until i have to go.Working in a restaurant blows,and being a hostess is like the tip of the fucking iceberg.I could literally write a book on my misfortune in "landing" this job(aka they laid us off from our nice cushy restaurant sales office job and gave us a more hands on approach to restaurant sales) but i would never want to...ever.But just so this post doesn't seem like useless venting,which it is,here is why i hate my job so much...

Like a Boss!
It's almost a given that when you work in the hospitality industry there is going to be A LOT of micromanaging.I mean how else could a place run if the GM had to do everything?So they hire about a 5 fresh out of college 20 somethings with no clue how the world outside their little department really is.These college kids do their best to run the show,dressing up in their JC Penny careers attire,kissing enough ass a year to maybe power a small country and of course treating their employees like the ultimate scum of the earth.Passive aggressiveness is a second language to these fools and reading in between the lines is just a part of the job description.As a hostess you are without a doubt responsible for every mistake made including but not limited to food errors,and therefore you deserve to be condescended to in front of as many people as possible by a manager maybe a few months older than you.

Servers are some of the best/worst people you will ever meet
I like most of the people i work with,managers aside,they are great people for the most part.But i wouldn't trust them as far as i could throw them if you get what I'm sayin.Servers could be nice as shit...until you seat them a "bad" table.Now bad could mean ANYTHING.As a general rule servers should never be sat:

Asians,Brits,Frenchies,Black people,Business men who wear khaki,Spanish people who don't speak english,Gingers,any family with a 2 kids to 1 adult ratio,Women who don't have power suits on,people in wheelchairs,Teenagers,their own family members,or any type of European that isn't decked out in Armani Exchange.

I ordered this medium rare.
Oh I'm sorry sir,my blatant difference in uniform from your actual server must have caught your attention,therefore giving you the right to grab me as I pass your table.Oh,you ordered a medium rare steak?I apologize,I didn't take your order correctly because I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING SERVER!

Can we have something more private?
Yes,yes you can.It's the table waaaaay over there...outside the restaurant at the local Dennys.Because:
1.You didn't make fucking reservations,and beggars can't be choosers
2.You see those people in the quaint little corner there?They did and they also had the decency to request it before they sat down.

God forbid you have a gimmick
So at my particular restaurant we have these footballs...they are a part of the menu.
*breaths*
No,you cannot keep the football,what you think we just have a million of these things stowed away in our tiny fucking podium to give to you assholes?
No,I will not "go long" it's a restaurant dude not a stage for your ignorant broisms!
Yes,I get asked a million times a day of you can keep the football and that question is not any better.
And for fucks sake!Those wine glasses are NOT cheap,get your god damn kid to stop knocking over the damn football or we're adding them to your bill!

Other shit people do that makes me tell the servers to cough in their food
*If you see a white table cloth on your table and more than 2 forks,take your fucking hat off.I don't want to have to ask you,you should have the common sense to know this isn't a damn chilli's.
*If your kid is screaming at the top of his/her lungs and you see the cute little old couple next to you throwing you dirty looks,take the asshole kid for a walk.Just because you are immune to your own child's wailing doesn't mean the entire restaurant is.Yes they can hear you,and yes they hate you for bringing your kid.
*When a restaurant closes at let's say 10pm and you show up at 9:47pm,don't expect to be treated like a king at all.4 star or no star,you are an asshole.And your food will most definitly taste like floor.